Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
