...so i touched it.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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