You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We were destined to go to rehab together
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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