Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
