Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
