so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
