bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
As shirtless as possible
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize