Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
