I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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