i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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