Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
