He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
