what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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