No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
