I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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