I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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