hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
