Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
