yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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