he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
