The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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