Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
