Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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