And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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