but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
