dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sext me about skeletons
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
