Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize