I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
