its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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