theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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