how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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