Do you still have your period?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
