Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm experimenting with sincerity
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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