A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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