This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
