I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
