i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
