I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
