I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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