Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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