We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
