I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
