my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize