He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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