How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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