yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
