Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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