Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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