i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
handjob tips. give me some.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
