just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
