Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
