idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
