well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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