Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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