I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
