no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
