You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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