hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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