Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
