hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
