Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm both gender and math confused
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
