i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
