Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
