Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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