So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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