I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
