I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it glows. i had to have it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
