You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I need to align my fucking chakras
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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