i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
